why do you do this to me?

WHY... why is it that when i am trying my ass best to move on and forget about you, and suddenly you come back to me and say hi??

why???....

im so angry.. so dissapointed.. so.... emotional.

sigh...

whats god trying to tell me?

:(

following the waves of life events..

~THIS MAY BE TOO LATE BUT ITS A SUMMARY SINCE JANUARY~


since 31 dec/1stjan 2010: new years was celebrated at SENSO hilton.. wasnt that fun like yesteryears.. it was practically filled with old men bringing their mistress for the countdown and then after that go back hotel room and do "all the things in the world". *rolls eyes* can't they spend time with their wives or family? problem with men nowadays. once they've got the money, first thing in mind: FEMALE MANIPULATION. fuck off la. so pissed. going to die still want to do that. sigh.. anyway! deviating a moment there.. so to senso we went, my mom, dad and bff Kimberly Anding.. ahh.. but i was glad that new years was spent with my loved ones.






my parents said new year's this year was so not fun.. (coz they cant seem to enjoy dancing on the dancefloor..) wonder why though.. but THAT night, i also met up with my fellow senso dance buddy, yasmine my sis :) and also lynda was there with her boyfriend. not much of anything that night though.





but before we went to senso, Kim and i did videos!!! they were crazy ones la.. as usual... crazy me.. and a crazy bestie.






Jason's birthday was on the 10th January!!!!!!!!!!!! we hung out at that stupid D'santai with Wai Peng, Cady, Wei wen, Kwang howe.. and wai peng and i got him some sexay fitting singlet for him to slut out inda club. went to his house after that and that bitch.hell man. showed off all his gifts ayer.... but we had a night filled with laughter. as usual... =)





February 2010: went for this valentines day outing with my taurus gang~ and hell yeah we banged the cinema..and?? WORE PINK!!!! aww... we looked so un-taurus-ed as our house team was supposed to be black.. We went to watch movie~~ Percy jackson and the moonwalk thief~. In the movie, percy found out he was son of michael jackson and not poseidon. WTF?~~~ nah~ you know the story.. for those of you who have watched.. I need not explain. :) we enjoyed ourselves!!! ah~~ nice...! had dinner at delicious, midvalley..

Taurus as a group, we have done many crazy things together.. will always treasure what cheerleading have made us.. =)




February was kinda a bad month for me.. sigh.. things happened one after another.. my aunt passed away in feb. may the Lord Bless her soul.



:( furthermore, in feb, i broke up with the one i love soo much.. and its taking me forever to move on :( and.. living life without him after that was.. im just gonna remain speechless about it. too painful to talk about too heavy to think of the old times.. we werent meant to be.. but anyway, by any chance YOU are reading this,i just wanna say im sorry, and congratulations on your new life. i still think about you in random, during the day and night.. i hate it. All i want now is for that chapter of my life when you were in it, to be erased forever or get torn of from my book of life. other events happened in feb?... many. and shall be kept confidential. :(




and I thought, the start of 2010 wasnt that good at all. but there was also LIGHT to february despite the bad things which occured.. and its all because of my dear lord Jesus.. he led me to a church.. for me to worship him and to go to.. and started going without fail since then. i love you jesus :) now i go to City Harverst Church every week. thank the lord my faith has been brought alive.
i found new friends.. and i love making new friends..



=D so.. march.. nothing much... and i dont know which month was that, i went to genting, and port dickson, recently..




with mabel, kai li and moon...




i shall upload the video of us in genting.. where kai li, looks like a wheel-chair-first-timer-pusher, pushed mabel like the shopping complex was her house man! go watch the vid~~ hahahahha.. fun buddies of mine ^^ love them!





ahhhh~~.... being friends with these people sure make me go random places!




they like to bring me to places i dont know! and you should look at their faces when i got to know where they were gonna bring me! EVIL GRINS!!! raaaaaaagghhhh!! evil!!... lol!.. but anyways. without them i would be as sakai as a monkey from the deep jungles of sarawak. a gibbon maybe? i dont know but yeah. :) how i enjoyed going on a road trip with kai li mabel and moon.



:) and we even have our own road trip songs!! one from me and one from kai li!


CARE TO SING ALONG??? ITS A BIDAYUH TAPIOCA SONG! ITS CALLED: DAWU BANUNG



here goes~


dawu banung mune nuh pangkah,
titik bicin ngancak nuh sidik,
amu irak aku pun irak
lupet kain nagncak ku marik!


and kai li's road trip anthem is (i hope i rmbr)



smtg like:

hellow hellow??? my name's dibo!
here is something you should know!
if you want a gift! say this!
DING DIBOW DING DIBOW DIBOW DING!!!

:P tadaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!



lol... so lemme see.. april... nothing.. oh! i played futsal for the first time in IMU and i scored 3 goals and guess what!


the captain of my sports house is asking me to play for Taurus this year!! woohooo!!! i wanna rock my futsal world upside down baby! hee..


And im also selected to be to play for IMU in a MAPCU sports competition. Dont know what MAPCU stand for? its...



:) I just hope i can perform my best next month for the competition. Im so new to this game. :) pray for my victory, you whose reading this.


my gosh.. hasnt life been hectic and eventful for me??.. and all my thanks to the Lord.. i go through things with good real friends around me everyday in campus...
i love you all PS109.. not practicaly all.. MOST.. i shall say :)




and Jason my best bitch forever (BFF)..




plus wai peng. my horny bestie...



not forgettin also through longs texts, my 8 yr bff kim :)



and finally Jaclyn, who actually called me all the way from UK a few times just to ask if i was okay and to support me.. aww jaclyn.. cant believe we're still bff for 10 years even when we're so apart.. ^^




you all have supported me throughout..especially through my hard break up as it was my first one.. and it has hit me real hard..
and much hugs and kisses to all of you! i cant give them to you live though!hahaha people might think im a lesbian but i shall give you all virtually!



MUACKSS!! SLURP SLURP SLURP!!~~ <3 <3 <3


*breathes out*


I was voted as Vice president for the IMU JULY INTAKE ORIENTATION COMMITEE 2010 few months back :)

gotta do my job as a vice! cant be leaving things to others... PSYCHOLOGY'S NAME'S AT STAKE IF I DO SO! GOSH~~ i just wanna make psychology THE BEST COOLEST AND WELL-KNOWN in IMU.. coz we've got only 25 students overall so far out of the many pharmacy and medicine students :) and next time i shall aim to build and form a university .. INTERNATIONAL PSYCHOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY.. hahaha and have only 25 medicine students! BOOO!!!!!! lol! nah~ no hard feelings. i love my medic friends ;)


anyways~~~ fast frowarding to a greater event in my life.. hah! recently.. like last week.. i went to PERTH AUSTRALIA!! :)

how beautiful Perth was. so Peaceful.. you feel like spending your last days of life there... sigh... im missing perth already.. :(

well well well! in perth.. it was my first time encountering kangaroos LIVE!! wtf. it has always been on national geographic.. ahahah and i had my first animal porn upon entering the kangaroo place! two kangaroos were mating man! gosh! get a room!



haahahaa... sorry to porni-nize your eyes awhile.. anyway, my cousin Katrina has been bringing us around.



Very nice of her to take a leave just to bring us around. ^^
we went to the vineyard where wine was produced...


was a very serene place.. *breathes out again* how my heart can just stop beating to the calmness of the surroundings..

and yeah..IN THE CAVERSHAM WILDLIFE PARK i was surrounded by kangaroos and i couldnt get out!! they were asking for food!! scary! what if one of them box me in the eye! DAYUM!..


but they were so cute...you should see this fella scratching the hell out of its body man.. god~ must be feeling really good to scratch em' ribs ey.. dont mind me havin yer ribs bbq-ed for my birthday partay? ^^



haha those white kangaroos are the albinos.. like human beings too. they've got different coulours as well ;)


we then ventured on our own in the heart of perth, which is right in the middle of the city.. the town area.. my parents and I..




i just love venturing around! i guess its just in me blood~... we went cross the river over to south perth? and my god.. scenery was so nice... i can just sleep there and not do anything but to sit and sleep there for the rest of my life.. *breathes out again* was beautiful..






australia was cold as it was winter.. which explains why we were wearing extra clothings on top ^^ well the aussies are kinda used to it so they didnt wear as thick as my mum did teehee that bidayuh woman! cant stand the cold! i was okay with the temp! you know why? COZ I DIDNT SWEAT AT ALL AND MY RASHES WERE NOT ATTACKING MY SKIN!! weehoo~~!!.. unlike here in malaysia.. fooh~~ scratch scratch... hot.. sweating.... blehh~~

and we spent few days in the east of Perth, staying with tapuk Rubin, my kelabit granduncle and his family.. He brought us to this place.. not far frm his house.. and the evening was so nice..... gosh.... check this out! its like a free wallpaper thingie on google man!







and this is the place where all the rich people have their yatch and boats parked.. wow man.. beautiful... i wish i had one boat/yatch... sheesh. i should marry some RICH Australian man old man or some ugly man as long as he is rich, one day and ask him for a boat, and once i got hold of the boat, i divorce him and tell him that his eyes are too small for his face. WHY OF COURSE THATS A GOOD REASON! WHOSE EYES ARE BIGGER THAN THE FACE, asshole!.. lmao. only joking. of course, i wont be so desperate to marry a rich guy just for a fuh-reakin yatch. lol


My cousin markus brought us for dinner on the last day in perth.. :)
was very sweet of him to belanja us.. aww... :) and he was always laughing! like every second. gosh. he is just soo soo adorable. too bad he's my cousin HAHA.


hee hee hee ... so! where were we???

yahhh... and the next day we went back to Malaysia... i have lots to tell about perth and that would take me forever to write about it. :) pictures are on my facebook. do take a look at the sceneries.. amaze yourself in it enjoy the calming sceneries.. *breathes out longer this time*

i guess that has been happening since the start of this year..

i'll come update it soon :) since im so lifeless and SINGLE.. not to forget available now HAHA.

xoxo
Berenai

a new beginning shall i say?

oh my god. it REALLY has been awhile since i have been here.... and things have changed... many many things have changed in this life.. i shall record it when i can through here.. things i can share about.. with my beloved friends.. sigh. it has been rocky.. i meant about this life.

xoxo

well actually....the fish..

~continuation frm my previous post~

ACTUALLY.. IN THE END THE AMAZING ANAEROBIC(a condition without oxygen) WALKING FISH DIDN'T GET EATEN BY MY GRANDPARENTS AT ALL..
MY GRANDAD'S KEEPIN IT AS HIS PET..!!
HAHA!!

MAYBE HE GOT TOO BORED OF MY GRANDMA TILL HE WANNA GET HIMSELF A PET!!

I SHOULD REALLY START GIVIN MY GRANDMA SOME MAKEOVER TIPS AND GLOW IN THE DARK DENTURES~~!


lmao




the end

WANNA SEE A DISH TO BE .. WALKING??.. check this out.

no, no. im not supporting violence against animal.. but fish isn't included in my daily diet coz i am against fishes being eaten!.. uhu.. this fish was supposed to be cooked for dinner for my grandparents on saturday.. i rather see it die suffocating than it being eaten! OMg! THATS like the most crueslest thing everr.. to eat a fish!... well anyway. before it was washed, got rid of its insides,guts whatsover slimey stuff you name it. i managed to take a video of it. actually my uncle caught it and passed it to my grandma by HAND. now that's what i call fresh. I was in the car all along and i saw something passed me by.. OMG! i was shocked.. i mean. it was cloudy, my car was parked facing the forest.. well For your info, I was at kampung at that time.. and no one was around. i was dreaming myself away with the car door open and suddenly i saw something moving at the corner of my eyes~.. oh phhhu.....! damn. that got me. it was that fish. hehe. and notice in the video my mum was trying to model her new shoes which was the same colour as the fish. anyway, i dont know what kinda fish is tht.. i knw it's one of the famous fish eaten in kampung... and by the end of the video you can hear my grandma screaming when she saw me takin video of the fish.. WELL IT WAS HER FAULT WHAT! she was the one who left the fish on the floor. it was so unattended till it reached my sight for attention???!... i bet it was screamin at the top of its voice .."WATERRRR... WATER..... ARRRGHHHH... I CANT BELIEVE IM ACTUALLY SWIMMING ON THE FLOOR!!...er.. okay.. doesnt sound right.. but anyways.. WATERR!!..WATER!!... GURGLRGURLGE....

requested by Kah Ling:
1. Put your music player on shuffle. 2. Press forward for each question. 3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. No cheating. 4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.
How are you feeling today?
Move along ( all American rejects)
“ Haha yeah move along.. its gonna be tomorrow,so move along.”

Will you get far in life?
It ends tonight (all American rejects)
“ Omg.. is my life ending tonight?? ”

How do your friends see you?
Besame mucho (andrea bochelli)
“ Translation: kiss me more… er.. wth?? ”

Will you get married?
Whatever it takes ( lifehouse)
“ Ha??.. wow. Sounds so desperate… I’m still not desperate yet thank you..”

What is your best friend's theme song?
Never too late ( 3 days grace)
“ Its none of my best friend’s theme song haha ”

What is the story of your life?
Tercipta untukku (ungu)
“ The story of my life is made for me?.. wow.. sounds so deep and meaningful.. ”

What was high school like?
I can let go now (lee ryan)
“ HAHA! Yeap! That’s right.. I really can let go now. I’ve moved on, pn.chai!! Kaman,Kaman,Kaman! Where is this di-borah?..she go faind sam oksigon?*the marians should understand this… lmao* ”



How can you get ahead in life?
Love song (sara bareilles)
“ This can get me ahead in the toilet though. Ask kah ling.. ”

What's the best thing about your friends?
Breathless (Shayne ward)
“ Haha.. breathless because whenever I’m with them I’d laugh to death till I just couldn’t catch my breath ”

What's in store for this weekend?
Ada cinta (acha and irwansyah)
“ Wow.. ada cinta?.. got love?.. no love lehh!!... huhu.. eyh,waait a minute.. got,got.. =) ”



Describe your grandparents.
Cant take it (all American rejects)
“ Hah! No! I can take it. I love them. But sometimes.. I really can’t take it .. they still treat me like their 5 years old pwincess! *sulks* ”

How's your life going?
In loving memory ( alter bridge)
“ Omg.. why is it when it comes to the ‘life’ question.. it’s about the end of it.. am I really gonna die that soon???..”

What song will they play at your funeral?
Innocence (avril lavigne)
“ Wah! And its so connected! Im still young and innocent!(am i?) And during my funeral they’ll play me this song.. nice~ I like that… k Jaclyn! Get ready your rafllessia flowers for me liaww!”

How does the world see you?
How do I (lee ryan)
“ I don’t understand.. how do i?..hmm..”


What does your mum think of you?
Moving mountains (usher)
“ What! Am I that difficult to raise till its feels like she’s moving mountains!??? YOU’RE WRONG!!
*runs to my bedroom,slams the door and cries on my bed OUT LOUD* heh? ”

Will you have a happy life?
Rehab (amy winehouse)
“ So when I getta rehab,then my life is happy.. k people! Start Sendin me liquors and alcohols now!.. “they try to get me out of rehab but I said eh no.no no..! ”



Do people secretly lust after you?
Ps I love you (nelly mckay)
“ Has love got to do with lust?.. (gives you an innocent puppy dog eyes) ”


How can you make yourself happy?
Terlalu cinta (rossa)
“ Ooh? By makin myself happy I really fall in love.. waaaa…true,true.. hee hee
*wink wink*”

What should you do with your life?
The kill (30 seconds to mars)
“ Wow.. then I must murder tonight.. lemme see.. *rubs palms together…..looks left and right to identify victim*”

Will you ever have children?
Wont stop (one republic)
“ ha!!!! No way!.... wow~~ wth???.. u think my sex drive so high ka hah?! *hits your head* ”

What song would you strip to?
When I fall in love ( westlife)
“ Eh?.. wow.. I strip to slow oldies songs.. then I think it’ll take 4 hours and 25 minutes to strip !.. follow the tempo of the song ma…~ one button 10 minutes..”


What is your deep, dark secret?
Come home (one republic)
“ There you go. Im not supposed to reveal it. Thats why I should go home.. so see ya! Im goin home~ I aint telling! ”

What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
Love you till the end (the pogues)
“ Wow.~ that’s sweet of my enemy..”


What's your personality like?
Move along (all American rejects)
“ Ha? Move along again?..well, yes actually.. move along.. I wont give up and never look back =)”

What song will be played at your wedding?
Somethings’ not right here ( one republic)
“wait a minute.. why is there something not right here??.. *gasps*
THE BRIDESMAID IS JUST WEARING A CELLOTAPE TO COVER HER THINGIES ON MY WEDDING DINNER??!! Arrrrgghh.. (throws myself into the Sarawak river)”

Name 5 people you can think of right off the top of your head.
1)Gregory
2)Kimberly
3)Jaclyn
4)kah ling
5)mr.edison(math lecturer)


Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 5 people.This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first.NO CHEATING DON'T LOOK AHEAD UNLESS YOU FILLED UPTHE TOP

1. how did u meet 1?
In college.he’s my senior.and some dude in my student council.

2. On a scale of 1 -10 how would u rate your friendship with 1 ?
10+10 to the power of 100000000000000000000..so, is this what u call a friendship now?..

3. How long have you known 4 ?
Er.. since I knew kah yee is her sister.. tht was in 2003.. so 2008 – 2003 (runs to get a calculator)..err.. 5 yrs! ~

4. How do you know number 3?
She came frm miri to st mary’s. my classmate since primary 4.and my best butt till now.. =)

5. Wheres 5 ?
OMG! I THINK HE IS WATCHING THE REPEAT OF BAJET 2008 OR READING ABOUT ANWAR IBRAHIM FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

6. A fact about number 1 ?
He is very serious when he does his work. damn serious till you feel the pressure building up in you when you see him.

7. Who is 4 going out with?
Er.. no one?.. she goes out with augustine and I everyday during lunch tho! HEE HEE

8. What does 1 do for a living?
He’s still studying laa. But he does tutoring tho! *proud of him*

9. Would you live with number 3 ?
Haha! Jac?.. she’s been in my life for 10 fur-reakin years!.. that’s considered living a life with her already =P.

10. What do you like about number 2 ?
For being there for me when I cried and when I get mad.. for being my wall to shout all the foul words to when I’m pissed.. love yaa kimm.

11. Do you miss number 5 ?
CAN!.. can also..ee.. kidding okay! Err..tak blehh!~(immitates the U MOBILE advert)

12. Would you make out with number 4 ?
HA?? NO! IF YOU CHANGE THE ‘OUT’ WORD TO UP.. then im fine laa. heee

13. What’s your opinion of number 2 ?
She’s a quiet girl actually. But I came into her life. So she’s crazy now! Like me! Haha!

14. What's your favorite memory with number 5 ?
No memories. Sorry. *Memory card corrupted.*

15. What would you do if number 1 and 2 were going out?
……. Speechless…. I love them both.. but erm…. I’D BE HAPPY AND CRYING ABOUT IT AT THE SAME TIME!!

16. Ever had a long conversation with 5 ?
Nope. only 5 minutes. That one also talking about anwar ibrahim.

17. Have you ever slept at 2's house?
Yes!! Nap also ever..

18.Do you hang out with 3 a lot?
What do you expect?.. 10 years of friendship…. That’s like countless times!and I lovee lovee hanging out with her..

19.Who have you known the longest?
No.3 jacyln

21. How often do you talk to 1 ?
Haha! Everytime after lunch,after classes,on the phone….. as often as you can imagine.

22. What about 2 ?
I sms her often la.. now she’s in melaka.. when she was here.. huh!.. I think our ears were ALREADY bored of the phone stuck to them all the time.

23. Have you ever thought 3 more than a friend?
Er.. what if I said yes??. HAHA!.. of course she’s more than a friend! SHE IS MY BESTEST FRIEND.
Isn’t bestest friend more than a best friend and also more than just a friend?

24. Would you go out for a date with 5 ?
Haha. He’s my math lecturer. I wouldn’t, thank you..

25. Do you dream about 2 ?
No.. =( so far I haven’t.

26. What did no 4 did to you that you can never forget?
She clears my stuff and being my secretary.. thnxx kah lingg.. =)

27. What have you done for 1 that the person never forget?
I don’t know? I haven’t asked him yet..

28. What's 3 hobby?
She likes doin kraf tangan like.. doin those bracelets and really really creative things.. she’s just soo talented!....